Bedside Manners (The Breakup Doctor Series Book 2) Read online

  Praise for the Breakup Doctor Series

  Books in The Breakup Doctor Series

  Copyright

  Dedication

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

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  three

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  Reader’s Discussion Guide

  About the Author

  Don’t Miss the Next Book in the Series

  In Case You Missed the 1st Book in the Series

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  BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR

  THE DEEP END

  DOUBLE WHAMMY

  FINDING SKY

  DINERS, DIVES & DEAD ENDS

  Praise for the Breakup Doctor Series

  THE BREAKUP DOCTOR (#1)

  “A heartwarming and funny story about friendship, romance, and the heart-wrenching reality of breakups—while busting out some spot-on dating advice along the way.”

  — Liz Tuccillo,

  Executive Story Editor of HBO’s Sex and the City

  “A pleasure from beginning to end. The Breakup Doctor is as wise as it is funny.”

  — Sherry Thomas,

  Bestselling Author of The Luckiest Lady in London

  “Well-paced, entertaining and easy to get into...a thoroughly enjoyable, light, chick lit read; perfect to pick up when you’re going through a break-up or some relationship trouble yourself, because this story will undoubtedly put a smile on your face.”

  — A Spoonful of Happy Endings

  “Humor, romance, and wonderful break up advice...I was expecting a lighthearted chick lit story, which it is, but it is also so much more...delightful...sharp, snarky, funny, and fast-paced.”

  — Fresh Fiction

  “Fascinating, funny and sometimes heartbreaking…Brilliantly written (and with some cracking advice if you find yourself experiencing relationship problems of your own…), this is a warm, witty, light and hugely enjoyable read.”

  — Bookaholic Confessions

  “A charming and funny novel that you won’t be able to put down.”

  — Austin Woman Magazine

  “Fox doesn’t just know how to write clearly and powerfully...she has real insight into relationships...It’s a laugh-out-loud read and likely will seem to speak directly to women of all ages—the love troubles mentioned here run from A to Z. Fox has a real winner here.”

  — Scene Magazine

  “I was expecting a cute quick read; what I got was much more. Brook’s character is great. She is well-rounded and her path to self-discovery through her breakup was realistic and at times heartwarming.”

  — Chick Lit Books

  BEDSIDE MANNERS (#2)

  “As heartwarming as they are humorous—Fox’s books offer more than the usual chick lit fare, with a lot of heart and a smart, relatable heroine in Breakup Doctor Brook Ogden.”

  —Sarah Bird,

  Author of The Boyfriend School and The Gap Year

  “Love this humorous chick lit that highlights how our own adversities and challenges can create opportunities and passion for helping others—I so related to the Breakup Doctor!”

  – Kimberly Seltzer,

  Dating & Makeover Expert and Recovering Therapist

  “Phoebe Fox has given us characters that are lovably fallible, funny, and frazzled, and has proven that when it comes to love and relationships of any kind, even the sanest of us get a little crazy.”

  — Elisa Lorello,

  Bestselling Author of Faking It and Why I Love Singlehood

  “A fantastic addition to The Breakup Doctor Series—I highly recommend this novel!”

  — Jill Knapp,

  Author of We’ve Always Got New York

  Books in The Breakup Doctor Series

  by Phoebe Fox

  THE BREAKUP DOCTOR (#1)

  BEDSIDE MANNERS (#2)

  HEART CONDITIONS (#3)

  (February 2016)

  Copyright

  BEDSIDE MANNERS

  The Breakup Doctor Series

  Part of the Henery Press Chick Lit Collection

  First Edition

  Kindle edition | March 2015

  Henery Press

  www.henerypress.com

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including internet usage, without written permission from Henery Press, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  Copyright © 2015 by Phoebe Fox

  Author Photograph by Amber A. Novak

  This is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Related subjects include: book club recommendations, dating advice, women’s friendship and sisterhood, humorous fiction, women’s fiction, chick lit romantic comedy, rom com, funny romance.

  ISBN-13: 978-1-941962-37-4

  Printed in the United States of America

  Dedication

  For Joel, always and entirely.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Despite appearances, writing a book is far from a solitary endeavor. Without the cherished people in my life who save me from myself time and again, my career would not exist.

  First, bottomless thanks go to the team at Henery Press. The level of passion, knowledge, and ongoing support from the publishing team there is beyond what any author could hope for, and it’s a thrill and a privilege to be part of a company that is growing so quickly and achieving such success. Special thanks to Erin George for her editorial guidance on this book—her incisive feedback was immeasurably helpful, and her positivity and good humor infinitely welcome; and to Kendel Lynn and Art Molinares, whose relentless generosity of time, information, and enthusiasm inspire me constantly. I am a happy Fox in the Hen House.

  I cannot overstate my gratitude to superagent Courtney Miller-Callihan of Greenburger Associates. Beyond her unflagging belief in this series and in me that shepherded the Breakup Doctor series into publication, I am awash in appreciation for her sharp editorial eye, and her brave willingness to offer her honest, constructive opinion, even when that opinion is that a certain element “needs an overhaul from page one.” Ouch. And bless her—she was entirely correct, and her candor allowed me to make this story much, much better than I could have without her.

  My writing group saves my bacon at every turn. They are like the WonderTwins, except in triplicate: each has impressive superpowers of discernment and critique, but together their gifts increase tenfold. Brilliant authors in their own rights, Kelly Harrell, John J. Asher, and A
mber A. Novak are as generous as they are talented. Amber Novak is as gifted a photographer as she is a writer, and it’s thanks to her that I have an author photo that makes me look reasonably put-together.

  Trusted beta readers are like tiny IVs of literary medicine surging into a writer’s veins. On this book, my endless thanks to the sharp eyes and candid tongue of Marcie Walter, who has never, insofar as I am aware, pulled a single punch in her life, but because of her unflinching honesty I can take enormous pride in comments like, “That plot point really works, and you know I would tell you if I thought it was crap.” Yes, Marcie, I do know.

  The generosity of family and friends warms my soul. Forget career—I wouldn’t have a life without the love and support of the family I was born into, the family I married into, and the family of friends I opted into. They say that you find out whom you can count on when the chips are down, but you also learn it when the chips are up, and you see how many loved ones show up, cheer on, and otherwise celebrate your happiest moments. I have to single out Carole Hlavin Burns, Kelly Harrell, Angie Patterson Benning, and Jan Davis among a horde of marvelous humans I am blessed to have in my life—every author should have loved ones who go to such lengths to offer their time, resources, and shining souls to support the people they care about—in this case, lucky me.

  Paige Throckmorton—the miraculous Intern Paige—continues to offer her support, encouragement, time, and friendship to me and to the Breakup Doctor series, even as she laboriously works to achieve her degree.

  Thanks to so many wonderful book bloggers—unsung, unpaid heroes who work so hard to create unique and entertaining forums to bring readers and books together.

  To my readers—I thought writing was the most indescribably transporting feeling an author could experience—until I began receiving your emails, tweets, posts, and kind words about the books. There is nothing like knowing that something you created has touched a chord in someone else. Thank you for reading, and thank you for reaching out.

  Finally, to the person who has to listen endlessly to me working out plot points, struggling with character development, and occasionally offering myself spine-twisting pats on the back for a scene I am particularly pleased with: my husband (the Dogfather) plays the multiple roles of husband, lover, best friend, comic relief, sounding board, plot doctor, dog coparent, in-house IT guy, neurosis patrol, dauntless cheering section, and fellow big-dreamer with seemingly effortless aplomb and an insane tidal wave of love. Brook—hold on to the good guy; they are a rare breed.

  one

  Technically, lurking outside of an S and M bar to figure out whether I was going to have to go in wasn’t part of my job description.

  Mind you, as a therapist who specializes in helping people get through messy breakups, my usual menu of offerings is pretty broad. In the four months since my practice as the Breakup Doctor took off, it has included, but is not limited to:

  Relationship dissection

  Ego building

  Organizational oversight (i.e., guiding my clients through removing the painful reminders of their ex from their everyday view until such a time as the memories don’t confound their healing)

  Personal shopping

  Nutritional counseling (woman cannot live by Ben & Jerry’s alone, no matter how big a jerk her ex is)

  Deejaying (because endless, late-night loops of Fiona Apple and Joni Mitchell are just going to make you feel worse)

  Image consultation, including hair and makeup referrals

  Telephone/computer confiscation (some clients know they have no willpower and welcome the chance to remove temptation)

  And that’s in addition to the traditional therapy services I’m actually trained, as a licensed mental health counselor, to provide. Intervention is strictly against my usual policy—I focus in counseling sessions on guiding people to move past the pain of rejection and abandonment and work toward making healthier choices in the future, but ultimately those choices are up to them.

  But Cameron Fowler was way out of her depth. She’d moved here to my southwest Florida hometown just two months ago from hers, Fish Creek, Wisconsin—which made the fairly small town of Fort Myers seem like New York City by comparison. She was fleeing from the worst kind of breakup imaginable—being left at the altar by her longtime beau—and hoping for a fresh start.

  Against all the odds in the dating wasteland that is southwest Florida, she immediately met “the perfect guy”: Wayne Bukowski, owner of a local advertising agency that made its reputation on two or three huge local accounts—a car dealer, a restaurant chain, and a mega gym. Wayne was older—in his late forties—but still handsome, with a perfect head of rich brown hair and a wide white smile, and he set about courting the young, fresh-faced Cameron with a ferocity and single-mindedness that drove her college sweetheart’s betrayal right out of her mind.

  Wayne and Cameron had been dating almost since her first day in town, when she’d met him in the grocery store as they were both checking out melons—Cameron the cantaloupe; Wayne, Cameron’s. But lately, Cameron had told me on our first meeting, Wayne had begun to pull back—he was distant, distracted, and where he used to call her at all hours of the day and night, now she had to initiate most calls, and it would be hours before he returned her message when it slipped into voicemail more and more often.

  Troubled, she’d finally sat him down to ask him what was the matter, and Wayne had forthrightly told her: He was worried she wasn’t adventurous enough for him. Wayne Bukowski was a man of rapacious and varied appetites, and he was afraid that perhaps Cameron’s delicate, sheltered upbringing meant they might not be right for each other after all.

  Poor Cameron thought he meant things like bungee jumping and whitewater rafting. Wayne had to spell out for her that he was talking about their bedroom exploits.

  Cameron Fowler had lost one man without ever having the chance to know what she did wrong so she could fix it. She wasn’t going to let the same thing happen now. She’d said as much to me when she called me thirty minutes ago and told me what she was doing, with such ferocious, out-of-character adamancy that I’d walked out in the middle of a date and had been tailing her like a private dick ever since.

  As I said, not part of my usual job description. But I was learning I couldn’t always keep my personal concerns for clients strictly within the confines of our sessions together.

  Now I was sitting in my car in the Southside Industrial Park late on a Saturday night, watching her loiter indecisively outside the tall, grim black doors of Sticks and Stones, and prepared any second now to break my policy of non-direct-intervention.

  She walked again past the matte-black doors, craning her neck to see inside when one cracked open for a moment and disgorged a laughing, stumbling couple in their mid-thirties, holding on to each other, the woman squealing in theatrical shock.

  Drop-ins. They’d go home tonight and have “naughty” Fifty Shades of Grey sex with her restrained against the bedpost with some of his polyester ties, and feel dangerous and outrageous. Monday morning they’d casually mention at work that they’d hit Sticks and Stones over the weekend, and they’d enjoy the edgy street cred it gave them among their conservative coworkers.

  Cameron made another pass by the doors and had to scurry out of the way, her gauzy skirt swinging, when a group of black-clad patrons seethed onto the front walkway from the parking lot on Work Drive. Now, this group weren’t prurient tourists looking for a thrill. These guys seemed like regulars—leather clothes (chaps, I swore in one case, though it was hard to tell in the dim light from the single streetlight twenty yards away), the glint of metal, lots of piercings. One of them raked Cameron with an up-and-down investigation that made me blush sitting forty feet away in my car. She visibly contracted.

  That’s it, I thought. This isn’t your scene, Cam. Get back in your car and go home.


  Cameron pushed a strand of flyaway blond hair behind her ear with a hand I could see even from here was shaking, and finally turned to go back to her car. I hadn’t thought she’d actually go through with it, but I’d had to show up just in case. Cameron was a sweet, naive Midwestern girl, and there was something about her I felt compelled to protect.

  Just as I was turning my key in the ignition, Cameron lifted her shoulders, straightened her back, and reached for the door in a fast, firm motion. The club doors slammed shut, swallowing her.

  Dammit. This was not one of the services I offered. I yanked the keys out, threw open my door, and scurried over to the entrance.

  As soon as the imposing door sucked shut behind me with the muffled thunk of a vacuum seal, I was overwhelmed by sense stimuli. The unidentifiable house music was loud, a bass beat pounding so deeply it seemed to tremble the floor and threaten arrhythmia. Cool, slightly moist air rushed over my skin, as if I were standing in front of a window unit. The club smelled like perfume and incense, with the earthy undertone of sweat and something else I couldn’t place, something slightly sharp and vaguely troubling.

  My eyes adjusted to the twilight lighting and I realized the cavernous room was packed wall-to-wall. If I wanted to venture into the bowels I was going to have to forge a trail through the close-pressed bodies. Cameron couldn’t have made much easier progress; she had to be nearby. In her flyaway floral dress she should be easy to find—everyone within my sightline wore either dark, shiny clothing of some nonporous fiber, or very little in general.